Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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