Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
