is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
