i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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