it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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