on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.