u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
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Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
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best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle