I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Brb crying the tears of my youth
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?