absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
my computer doesn't work...
i puked on it last night
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch