Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
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