Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
