similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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