We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
