So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
