and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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