I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
