I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
