oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
