A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
This girl is more easily done than said...
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
