I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
