so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
