i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
