it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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