Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
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I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
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How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Everyone says I win the strip club
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.