Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm determined to sit on that face.