Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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