what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
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the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
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Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10