that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.