and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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