Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
