Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
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