2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
