i just google imaged poop.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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