So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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