Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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