I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
