There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
