So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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