do herpes really smell.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
