this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
