It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize