i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
