matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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