Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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