the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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