You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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