how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
