We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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