she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
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You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
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Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize