She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
