what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
