Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
