We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
