How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
