I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
