Where is the hickey?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
