I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Randomize
