Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
