So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Fuck appropriateness.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
