you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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