why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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