SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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