Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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