Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
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