Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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