I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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