I should be sponsored by Trojan
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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