community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
