i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
