All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
