if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
