Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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