covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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