Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
