K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
