yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
